I really like the concept of Give and Take, and I will always be on the side of cultivating more generous, selfless, and collaborative workplaces, social circles, and societies. Adam Grant’s book is full of interesting ideas and arguments on how givers defy preconceptions and can actually outperform takers and matchers.
In Grant’s world, we all are either givers, matchers, or takers (with some potential for fluidity). Givers, as the name suggests, give more than they take. They are selfless, community-driven, and genuinely enjoy helping others. Matchers are more transactional, while takers are framed as selfish, zero-sum thinkers who use their egos, volume, and general assertive to get what they want, even at others’ expense. Grant argues that the “otherish” giver (as opposed to the selfless giver), can come out on top by knowing their limits, avoiding burnout, staying attuned to others’ values and motives, and daring to be strategically assertive. Everything Grant covers on this front is great.
My problems with this book lie largely with its incredibly heavy reliance on anecdotal examples. To be fair, Grant cites numerous academic and scientifically-credible studies, but the bulk of this book is weighed down by one-off stories that are inconsistently compelling and at times veer into being a bit… precious. I understand that this book’s scope is largely confined to the American workplace, but some of Grant’s assertions about human psychology seem miss-aligned when you think beyond the four walls of the professional world. This 2013 book’s “nice guys finish first” premise also has not aged tremendously well a decade later in a world where politicians, cultural icons, and business leaders appear ever-more crude, greedy, and selfish. I completely buy Grant’s argument that the giver lifestyle is a worthy one that we should aspire to if we want to feel happiness and fulfillment, but I am definitely skeptical of the idea that it is the best way to succeed in the world as it is.
Critiques aside, there are several great points presented in Give and Take. I strongly resonated with the idea of powerless communication: listening, asking questions, seeking advice, and showing vulnerability. I also found Grant’s extensive discussion of “otherish” giving as the path to reaping the benefits of giving, without risking burnout or being taken advantage of as very compelling.
Overall, this book is a worthy read, particularly as a conversation starter, and I appreciate that Grant included some action items in the epilogue. I will definitely try to implement some “otherish” giving practices. I’m glad I underlined and took notes in the margins, so I can easily reference the valuable information in this book without having to slog through the narrative padding in the future.
The Once and Future Lit 